Over the past year Brian has not really been able to help out around the house with a lot of things. With Vincent attending school in CA I have been returning to my roots! Gardening.... Or let's really put it in perspective and that would be skimming by.
I am normally the one to mow the lawn, maintain the sprinkling system (of course with the help of our friend Chase) up keep the pool, weeds...... you get my point I am sure.
This past Friday to my great surprise, Brian had gone out and tackled poop patrol. Believe me, a task that I wouldn't even feel good paying someone to do. It's just one of those things in the back of our heads that no one ever wants to do. He had accomplished that. And took a nap. I was so incredibly grateful that he had enough energy to complete that horrible task.
As Amanda and I were dusting we heard the lawn mower attack the back lawn.... Of course I was completely worried that Brian was pushing himself way too far. How do you tell a grown man NO. 2 hours later (2100 sq. ft.) our lawn was in prestine condition. He had even used the weed edger. BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so thrilled I did not have to do it this week.
For this....... I count my blessings. I am grateful that we do have Great Days. It's the simple things in life that make us happy. That even his MS has progressed he still has more Great Days than not.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Waiting For Answers.......
Is it just me? Or does anyone else ever wonder if they hear the answers from the Lord from their prayers? Hopefully that sentence made sense?
Many of you know we have been thinking about moving sooner than later. We have been waiting to hear from the VA about Brian's claims (56). Do we sell our house or rent it out? Do we stay here now that Vincent wants to attend Barry Goldwater for his Senior year of HS? Can I PLEASE stay home with my baby girl?
I KNOW I am not the only one with 100 80 million things on my plate.... We ALL have Full Plates. But I do wonder if I am listening intently to the Lord? If I am doing the right things so that I can hear his anwers?
It's days like today that I want so much to be a SAHM. By all means.... I know again and again why the prophets have reminded us over and over again to not be in debt. How I look forward to that day.
It is only 8:55 and for the past 3 hours I have enjoyed doing the laundry, revising my schedule for my clients at home and sitting with Amanda going over numbers and letters and just watching her learn and play. Who would have thought there would be so much joy watching an 18 month old rearrange my utensil drawer or throw a fit trying and determined to put her shoes on all by her self.
So for now? We don't know if we are moving? For that matter where we would be moving to? Although I FOR SURE pick Santa Barbara County. Just saying. If I will a SAHM or if Brian will ever hear back from the VA with an answer.
I am praying intently that I listen and observe to those promptings from the Lord. And I am enjoying every single Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday for the next week that I get to spend all day with Amanda and Brian!
Many of you know we have been thinking about moving sooner than later. We have been waiting to hear from the VA about Brian's claims (56). Do we sell our house or rent it out? Do we stay here now that Vincent wants to attend Barry Goldwater for his Senior year of HS? Can I PLEASE stay home with my baby girl?
I KNOW I am not the only one with 100 80 million things on my plate.... We ALL have Full Plates. But I do wonder if I am listening intently to the Lord? If I am doing the right things so that I can hear his anwers?
It is only 8:55 and for the past 3 hours I have enjoyed doing the laundry, revising my schedule for my clients at home and sitting with Amanda going over numbers and letters and just watching her learn and play. Who would have thought there would be so much joy watching an 18 month old rearrange my utensil drawer or throw a fit trying and determined to put her shoes on all by her self.
So for now? We don't know if we are moving? For that matter where we would be moving to? Although I FOR SURE pick Santa Barbara County. Just saying. If I will a SAHM or if Brian will ever hear back from the VA with an answer.
I am praying intently that I listen and observe to those promptings from the Lord. And I am enjoying every single Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday for the next week that I get to spend all day with Amanda and Brian!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Did You Say Hello Today?
Today Brian drove our SUV to the shop for an oil change. Amanda and I followed in my car. From there I was going to walk home. (need the exercise more than you know). Brian had to take my car to the dealer to get the back visor fixed.
Amanda and I walking, well she sitting happily in the jogger with her animal crackers, ice water and of course visor.
Our first destination was the beauty supply place. Which was 1.2 miles away. We passed 4 different sets of people and one lady getting off the bus to ride her bike.
Our SUV was not finished on our way back so I decided to keep walking. We ended up walking another hour which ended up being 3.85 miles. This time we passed a number of people. Why am I bringing this up? There was only 1 person who smiled. NONE of them said hello. Not even after I said it to them. The only person to smile back was a young lady whom was pushing a stroller.
WHY???????????????????????????????????
Why do people not smile and say hello to someone they are passing? To me this just seems so cold and abrasive. I will admit, by the time I walked the 5 miles and entered Costco I was so happy to be greeted with a smile. Sure, I am there to spend money, but they didn't have to smile.
It amazes me how warm and for the most part happy a smile or greeting makes us or at least me feel.
Starting today I will make sure that I DO smile, wave and say hello to people as I pass them. I would luv to see more smiles and happy people. Wouldn't we all? :)
Amanda and I walking, well she sitting happily in the jogger with her animal crackers, ice water and of course visor.
Our first destination was the beauty supply place. Which was 1.2 miles away. We passed 4 different sets of people and one lady getting off the bus to ride her bike.
Our SUV was not finished on our way back so I decided to keep walking. We ended up walking another hour which ended up being 3.85 miles. This time we passed a number of people. Why am I bringing this up? There was only 1 person who smiled. NONE of them said hello. Not even after I said it to them. The only person to smile back was a young lady whom was pushing a stroller.
WHY???????????????????????????????????
Why do people not smile and say hello to someone they are passing? To me this just seems so cold and abrasive. I will admit, by the time I walked the 5 miles and entered Costco I was so happy to be greeted with a smile. Sure, I am there to spend money, but they didn't have to smile.
It amazes me how warm and for the most part happy a smile or greeting makes us or at least me feel.
Starting today I will make sure that I DO smile, wave and say hello to people as I pass them. I would luv to see more smiles and happy people. Wouldn't we all? :)
Monday, September 24, 2012
Is it the Right Decision???
A couple weeks ago we had found out that Vincent was not doing so well again.......
For those of you that have grown children; I know why you have grey hair and are so darn sweet to your grand children!!! Ha ha ha
We had to help him change his situation but how???? Since he was now failing some of his classes again we knew we needed to do something.. We gave him the options of living with our friends in Utah, his biological father, military school or his grandpa that lives in CA. He chose the option of living with his grandpa.
We had planned to move him on moving him the weekend of the 8th....
I am not going to lie.... I was dreading this moment. I felt like I was cheating and giving up on my child. At the same time I knew it was the best decision for Vincent.
September 8 came far too quick! Vincent finished his last shift at the local yogurt company. Put the rest of his things in the Aspen. Unfortunately Brian had been admitted to the hospital that morning. It seems he had too high of blood pressure, some pains in his head that were not a headache. If that makes sense?
I picked up Brian from the hospital, and put him to bed. Amanda and I ran to Walmart to gets loads of caffeine for Brian (always needed after a spinal tap) and pick up Vincent.
We had family prayer, hugs, kisses and a lot of butterflies in all of our stomachs.
Vincent, Amanda and I headed for CA. Amanda and I in the loaded Aspen and Vincent following in his car.
After several stops at the gas stations and pulling over on the side of the road to sleep we finally made it.
I felt more assured of our decision as I enrolled him into school. We entered the land of no cell phones, very few cars (teenage drivers) and a town that ALL meets together for every single sports event.
My feelings were not completely settled.... I mean really? How do I let these people know he is an awesome kid but he is there alone with no friends and 1 person he is related to? Prayer!!!!!! I remember getting on my knees and pleading with the Lord for guidance that We are doing the right thing?
As much as I didn't want to listen to the spirit. I knew it was time for me to pack up the car. I will never forget Vincent helping me with our bags, standing tall and saying "mom, don't worry.... I know this is what I need to get back on track and be spiritually clean again" with chills running down my spine I smiled, hugged him even though we were outside; i was not thinking of him being embarrassed....
Amanda and I got in the car waved to Vincent and his grandpa and drove away.
For 8 hours I had plenty of time to think while listening to children's music. I mean really...... You can only take so much of "Wheels on the Bus....". As I drove, I finally realized I have given my life up to the Lord. In a way a very reassuring feeling. Another way, dang...... Maybe I too am learning and growing?
We have talked to Vincent everyday for the past two weeks. Amanda gets so excited, as do Brian and myself when we are able to Skype.
Today, my client out of the blue started talking about how his parents sent him away to Military School when he was younger. I knew I meant to hear all he had to say. It made me more at ease. Especially since I LUVD our conversation this weekend. "mom, really no I am not doing that.... I am getting things in order for be to be spiritually back on track and mastering all my classes."
As hard as it is to not have Vincent here everyday, I know he is where he needs to be!
If you would like to send packages, letters or call him (land line only) just send me an email or text. He LUVS to get mail!!!!!
For those of you that have grown children; I know why you have grey hair and are so darn sweet to your grand children!!! Ha ha ha
We had to help him change his situation but how???? Since he was now failing some of his classes again we knew we needed to do something.. We gave him the options of living with our friends in Utah, his biological father, military school or his grandpa that lives in CA. He chose the option of living with his grandpa.
We had planned to move him on moving him the weekend of the 8th....
I am not going to lie.... I was dreading this moment. I felt like I was cheating and giving up on my child. At the same time I knew it was the best decision for Vincent.
September 8 came far too quick! Vincent finished his last shift at the local yogurt company. Put the rest of his things in the Aspen. Unfortunately Brian had been admitted to the hospital that morning. It seems he had too high of blood pressure, some pains in his head that were not a headache. If that makes sense?
I picked up Brian from the hospital, and put him to bed. Amanda and I ran to Walmart to gets loads of caffeine for Brian (always needed after a spinal tap) and pick up Vincent.
We had family prayer, hugs, kisses and a lot of butterflies in all of our stomachs.
Vincent, Amanda and I headed for CA. Amanda and I in the loaded Aspen and Vincent following in his car.
After several stops at the gas stations and pulling over on the side of the road to sleep we finally made it.
I felt more assured of our decision as I enrolled him into school. We entered the land of no cell phones, very few cars (teenage drivers) and a town that ALL meets together for every single sports event.
My feelings were not completely settled.... I mean really? How do I let these people know he is an awesome kid but he is there alone with no friends and 1 person he is related to? Prayer!!!!!! I remember getting on my knees and pleading with the Lord for guidance that We are doing the right thing?
As much as I didn't want to listen to the spirit. I knew it was time for me to pack up the car. I will never forget Vincent helping me with our bags, standing tall and saying "mom, don't worry.... I know this is what I need to get back on track and be spiritually clean again" with chills running down my spine I smiled, hugged him even though we were outside; i was not thinking of him being embarrassed....
Amanda and I got in the car waved to Vincent and his grandpa and drove away.
For 8 hours I had plenty of time to think while listening to children's music. I mean really...... You can only take so much of "Wheels on the Bus....". As I drove, I finally realized I have given my life up to the Lord. In a way a very reassuring feeling. Another way, dang...... Maybe I too am learning and growing?
We have talked to Vincent everyday for the past two weeks. Amanda gets so excited, as do Brian and myself when we are able to Skype.
Today, my client out of the blue started talking about how his parents sent him away to Military School when he was younger. I knew I meant to hear all he had to say. It made me more at ease. Especially since I LUVD our conversation this weekend. "mom, really no I am not doing that.... I am getting things in order for be to be spiritually back on track and mastering all my classes."
As hard as it is to not have Vincent here everyday, I know he is where he needs to be!
If you would like to send packages, letters or call him (land line only) just send me an email or text. He LUVS to get mail!!!!!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
The Beginning
Have you ever wondered if your plate can overflow?
Is there ever a time that you will not be able to add or pile anything else onto the plate?
The past two years I feel like my plate overflows depending on the day or month I am trying to get through.
It all started in June of last year (2011). "Babe, I can't feel the water in the shower or when I clean off the patio" Little did I know that my husband was having an MS attack. He decided to keep it to himself the whole weekend due to my brother Matthew and his wife were visiting from Santa Barbara. Really not knowing what was going on. We pushed it aside thinking it was just a pinched nerve.
Hearing the words, "You are diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and Sarcoidosis" do more than make you loose your breathe. Over a period of 10 years my husband, Brian had been progressivly becoming ill with out even knowing it. Spending over a week in the hospital, 2 spinal taps, 8 MRI's and intensive tests every single morning was just the appitizer. My plate had not even begun to be dished up.
I will never forget the feeling of bringing Brian home. It was a much happier emotion than the time when Brian and I brought home our baby girl 2 months earlier and spending time as a family iwth our 16 year old. I look back now and realize that the experience was very similar. I had to help both in the middle of the night, feed both in the middle of the night and neither of the two could take care of themselves.
We soon realized that things were going to change far more than we could comprehend. All I remember saying was " We just have to have Faith, Pray and pay our Tithing" Over and Over again.
Since July 2011 Brian has become progressivly worse. He has been in and out of the hopsital so many times that I have stopped counting. I know that he has had 5 spinal taps just this year, and over 20 MRI's and Catscans. There are days that he can not get out of bed due to the pain and fatigue. He sleeps more than our 17 month old daughter, Amanda and our 16 year old son, Vincent.
I ask myself everyday? Is my plate going to overflow today? Being the wife of someone who has two Auto Immune Diseases and a bad heart this is a question that runs across my mind more than once a day.
In November of 2011 Brian had not worked for more than 4 months. We only had disability Insurance for income due to me trying to finish school by the end of December. We had to rely on our Ward Family and our families. We would receive food from the Bishop's Warehouse (LDS Church Welfare System) every two weeks to keep us going. We cut back on every single thing we could to reduce our bills. Now I know more than ever why our General Authorties have always told us to live debt free. We received gift cards from my MIL on a regular basis. They always seemed to show up on the day I would wake up and pray we would receive a miracle to get us through. Often times I would reveieve texts of encouragement, Food delivered to our door, money placed discreetly into our diaper bag in church, many people offering to drive Vincent where ever he needed to be and plenty of people to watch Amanda when needed.
I look back now and realize how blessed I truly am. No, My husband can not get out of bed by himself, he can not help around the house, he can't watch our daughter anymore without taking a nap or becoming over whelmingly exhausted, he can not help our son with Merit Badges anymore, sit through his volleyball games or golf with him. There are days I have to clean and change him as much as I have to clean and change our 17 month old daughter. I do not get a day off between working 3 jobs, having 2 children, maintaing and running our household, being part of the Phoenix Multiple Sclerosis Chapter, tyring to be a friend, daughter, some kind of sister, wife and mother. I realize now how blessed I have been to be able to juggle all these things and running on minimal sleep.
There are days I do ask myself if I will make it through the day? Then I think, I used to nurse, pump, go to school, make dinner, go to a volleyball game, my own homework, take care of my husband and laundry all in one day. I remember I would call my siblings, crying asking for support and
encouragement, Dealing with a husband who literally went crazy due to wrong dosage of medications, and realizing there is not anything we can not handle. The Lord will never give us anything we can not accomplish.
Now, things are finally becoming back to the way they were in The Nelson's Nest. Or at least as close as they can be to normal. Paying off bills, receiving Social Security for Brian, and me being able to maintain 3 jobs we know we are truly blessed. All of this while being surrounded by endless luv from our dear friends and family.
Today my husband is unable to get out of bed, my daughter is running around the house as any 17 month old will, my Uncle and Dad are here visiting from Santa Barbara, our son is resting and "chilling" as all 16 year olds do with a day off school and work. And me, I am enjoying a day off of "going into work" doing work around the house, cooking, cleaning and spending time with my family!
This blog is not a blog that I will update daily. But more of a forum to discuss the trials and blessings of being the wife of someone who has Multiple Sclerosis and Sarcoidosis and a mom of two most amazing children. And to help people understand and realize, you too can accomplish all this and be happy while accomplishing it.
Is there ever a time that you will not be able to add or pile anything else onto the plate?
The past two years I feel like my plate overflows depending on the day or month I am trying to get through.
It all started in June of last year (2011). "Babe, I can't feel the water in the shower or when I clean off the patio" Little did I know that my husband was having an MS attack. He decided to keep it to himself the whole weekend due to my brother Matthew and his wife were visiting from Santa Barbara. Really not knowing what was going on. We pushed it aside thinking it was just a pinched nerve.
Hearing the words, "You are diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and Sarcoidosis" do more than make you loose your breathe. Over a period of 10 years my husband, Brian had been progressivly becoming ill with out even knowing it. Spending over a week in the hospital, 2 spinal taps, 8 MRI's and intensive tests every single morning was just the appitizer. My plate had not even begun to be dished up.
I will never forget the feeling of bringing Brian home. It was a much happier emotion than the time when Brian and I brought home our baby girl 2 months earlier and spending time as a family iwth our 16 year old. I look back now and realize that the experience was very similar. I had to help both in the middle of the night, feed both in the middle of the night and neither of the two could take care of themselves.
We soon realized that things were going to change far more than we could comprehend. All I remember saying was " We just have to have Faith, Pray and pay our Tithing" Over and Over again.
Since July 2011 Brian has become progressivly worse. He has been in and out of the hopsital so many times that I have stopped counting. I know that he has had 5 spinal taps just this year, and over 20 MRI's and Catscans. There are days that he can not get out of bed due to the pain and fatigue. He sleeps more than our 17 month old daughter, Amanda and our 16 year old son, Vincent.
I ask myself everyday? Is my plate going to overflow today? Being the wife of someone who has two Auto Immune Diseases and a bad heart this is a question that runs across my mind more than once a day.
In November of 2011 Brian had not worked for more than 4 months. We only had disability Insurance for income due to me trying to finish school by the end of December. We had to rely on our Ward Family and our families. We would receive food from the Bishop's Warehouse (LDS Church Welfare System) every two weeks to keep us going. We cut back on every single thing we could to reduce our bills. Now I know more than ever why our General Authorties have always told us to live debt free. We received gift cards from my MIL on a regular basis. They always seemed to show up on the day I would wake up and pray we would receive a miracle to get us through. Often times I would reveieve texts of encouragement, Food delivered to our door, money placed discreetly into our diaper bag in church, many people offering to drive Vincent where ever he needed to be and plenty of people to watch Amanda when needed.
I look back now and realize how blessed I truly am. No, My husband can not get out of bed by himself, he can not help around the house, he can't watch our daughter anymore without taking a nap or becoming over whelmingly exhausted, he can not help our son with Merit Badges anymore, sit through his volleyball games or golf with him. There are days I have to clean and change him as much as I have to clean and change our 17 month old daughter. I do not get a day off between working 3 jobs, having 2 children, maintaing and running our household, being part of the Phoenix Multiple Sclerosis Chapter, tyring to be a friend, daughter, some kind of sister, wife and mother. I realize now how blessed I have been to be able to juggle all these things and running on minimal sleep.
There are days I do ask myself if I will make it through the day? Then I think, I used to nurse, pump, go to school, make dinner, go to a volleyball game, my own homework, take care of my husband and laundry all in one day. I remember I would call my siblings, crying asking for support and
encouragement, Dealing with a husband who literally went crazy due to wrong dosage of medications, and realizing there is not anything we can not handle. The Lord will never give us anything we can not accomplish.
Now, things are finally becoming back to the way they were in The Nelson's Nest. Or at least as close as they can be to normal. Paying off bills, receiving Social Security for Brian, and me being able to maintain 3 jobs we know we are truly blessed. All of this while being surrounded by endless luv from our dear friends and family.
Today my husband is unable to get out of bed, my daughter is running around the house as any 17 month old will, my Uncle and Dad are here visiting from Santa Barbara, our son is resting and "chilling" as all 16 year olds do with a day off school and work. And me, I am enjoying a day off of "going into work" doing work around the house, cooking, cleaning and spending time with my family!
This blog is not a blog that I will update daily. But more of a forum to discuss the trials and blessings of being the wife of someone who has Multiple Sclerosis and Sarcoidosis and a mom of two most amazing children. And to help people understand and realize, you too can accomplish all this and be happy while accomplishing it.
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