The Beginning

Have you ever wondered if your plate can overflow? 

Is there ever a time that you will not be able to add or pile anything else onto the plate? 

The past two years I feel like my plate overflows depending on the day or month I am trying to get through. 
It all started in June of last year (2011).  "Babe, I can't feel the water in the shower or when I clean off the patio"  Little did I know that my husband was having an MS attack.  He decided to keep it to himself the whole weekend due to my brother Matthew and his wife were visiting from Santa Barbara.  Really not knowing what was going on.  We pushed it aside thinking it was just a pinched nerve. 

Hearing the words, "You are diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and Sarcoidosis" do more than make you loose your breathe.  Over a period of 10 years my husband, Brian had been progressivly becoming ill with out even knowing it.  Spending over a week in the hospital, 2 spinal taps, 8 MRI's and intensive tests every single morning was just the appitizer.  My plate had not even begun to be dished up. 

I will never forget the feeling of bringing Brian home.  It was a much happier emotion than the time when Brian and I brought home our baby girl 2 months earlier and spending time as a family iwth our 16 year old.  I look back now and realize that the experience was very similar.  I had to help both in the middle of the night, feed both in the middle of the night and neither of the two could take care of themselves. 

We soon realized that things were going to change far more than we could comprehend.  All I remember saying was " We just have to have Faith, Pray and pay our Tithing"  Over and Over again. 

Since July 2011 Brian has become progressivly worse.  He has been in and out of the hopsital so many times that I have stopped counting.  I know that he has had 5 spinal taps just this year, and over 20 MRI's and Catscans.  There are days that he can not get out of bed due to the pain and fatigue.  He sleeps more than our 17 month old daughter, Amanda and our 16 year old son, Vincent. 

I ask myself everyday?  Is my plate going to overflow today?  Being the wife of someone who has two Auto Immune Diseases and a bad heart this is a question that runs across my mind more than once a day.

In November of 2011 Brian had not worked for more than 4 months.  We only had disability Insurance for income due to me trying to finish school by the end of December.  We had to rely on our Ward Family and our families.  We would receive food from the Bishop's Warehouse (LDS Church Welfare System) every two weeks to keep us going.  We cut back on every single thing we could to reduce our bills.  Now I know more than ever why our General Authorties have always told us to live debt free.  We received gift cards from my MIL on a regular basis.  They always seemed to show up on the day I would wake up and pray we would receive a miracle to get us through.  Often times I would reveieve texts of encouragement, Food delivered to our door, money placed discreetly into our diaper bag in church, many people offering to drive Vincent where ever he needed to be and plenty of people to watch Amanda when needed. 

I look back now and realize how blessed I truly am.  No, My husband can not get out of bed by himself, he can not help around the house, he can't watch our daughter anymore without taking a nap or becoming over whelmingly exhausted, he can not help our son with Merit Badges anymore, sit through his volleyball games or golf with him.  There are days I have to clean and change him as much as I have to clean and change our 17 month old daughter.  I do not get a day off between working 3 jobs, having 2 children, maintaing and running our household, being part of the Phoenix Multiple Sclerosis Chapter, tyring to be a friend, daughter, some kind of sister, wife and mother.  I realize now how blessed I have been to be able to juggle all these things and running on minimal sleep. 

There are days I do ask myself if I will make it through the day?  Then I think, I used to nurse, pump, go to school, make dinner, go to a volleyball game, my own homework, take care of my husband and laundry all in one day.  I remember I would call my siblings, crying asking for support and
encouragement, Dealing with a husband who literally went crazy due to wrong dosage of medications, and realizing there is not anything we can not handle.  The Lord will never give us anything we can not accomplish. 

Now, things are finally becoming back to the way they were in The Nelson's Nest.  Or at least as close as they can be to normal.  Paying off bills, receiving Social Security for Brian, and me being able to maintain 3 jobs we know we are truly blessed.  All of this while being surrounded by endless luv from our dear friends and family. 

Today my husband is unable to get out of bed, my daughter is running around the house as any 17 month old will, my Uncle and Dad are here visiting from Santa Barbara, our son is resting and "chilling" as all 16 year olds do with a day off school and work. And me, I am enjoying a day off of "going into work" doing work around the house, cooking, cleaning and spending time with my family! 

This blog is not a blog that I will update daily.  But more of a forum to discuss the trials and blessings of being the wife of someone who has Multiple Sclerosis and Sarcoidosis and a mom of two most amazing children.  And to help people understand and realize, you too can accomplish all this and be happy while accomplishing it.